Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you’re unhappy with? Okay, that’s a trick question, because we all have. But the next question isn’t a trick question, and it actually dictates more than you think: how did you deal with it? My gut reaction is to fix everything that I categorize as undesirable. I go into “fixing mode” and try everything I can to change the undesirable circumstances. If that doesn’t work, I’ll move on to my next idea and try that twice. The problem? Forcing a solution usually doesn’t work. It tends to just get me more frustrated, upset, angry, and panicky, creating a perpetual cycle of uneasiness until whatever it is that is bothering me is (you guessed it!), fixed.
Now I’m not saying that you should react to undesirable circumstances by sticking your head in the sand. React with logic, problem-solving skills, and ideas on how you can make them better, but take out the desperation for things to be immediately better. In an effort to try something new, I did exactly this a couple weeks ago when certain circumstances were plaguing me. Instead of thrashing around and doing everything in my power to fix the situation, I decided to approach it without panic.
What is currently bothering me? Why is this undesirable? Is there anything in my control that may help to alleviate these circumstances? What isn’t in my control? After asking myself these questions, the result felt weird to me: I was okay with it. I did everything I could to alleviate the circumstances and then let it be. I even had fun and enjoyed myself while I was waiting for my circumstances to get better (who knew!?).
It took about two weeks, but what was bothering me eventually solved itself and slinked back to where it came from. By taking the emotion out of the panic-riddled equation, I was able to get to a solution with a lot less panic and a lot more power.
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